Relationships & Love: Serial Monogamy (BLOG)

"We are done. We broke up last week. What's going on this weekend? I need to find a new boo."  These are typical, thirsty words of an individual who can't stand the notion of being alone for 1/8 of a second after the fall of a romantic relationship.  Absurd or common? Is it the fear of sleeping, eating or having fun, alone? Mastering monogamy is a task in itself and now you want to be serial about it?

Welcome and enter at your own risk to the life of a serial monogamist. Is it protocol to immediately cuff someone after a breakup? If so, we may all need to be directed  to the handbook. How soon is too soon to enter into a new relationship after a breakup?

For some, short-lived romantic relationships in excessive routines are the acute compounds for loneliness. What exactly is gut wrenching about a little one on one with your self? In your last relationship, you were the epitome of inconsideration, yet instead of taking time out to improve that flaw, you'd rather carry it directly into a new relationship just to claim the "In a relationship” status on Facebook.

The problem lies in the fact that it is quite impossible to love someone else if self-love is lacking. These serial mofos come in all shapes and sizes, with various reasoning attached to their preying plan. There are many reasons why they revel in their sprees, but here are a few……….

Self-Esteem Builders. Relationships have many perks and for those with lower esteem than others, there are tons. Some may feel unwanted if not in a relationship. It is taken into consideration the yearning for love that sometimes if not included in your upbringing, could scar you for life; but the cycle must be broken. Whether you were bred with it or you're still on the hunt for it, love is and always will be lingering. Consistent new relationships do not build self-esteem, but fill a placebo-like void. For the entirety of your life to date, you have always had someone to love and build confidence with…..yourself. Full attention was probably never paid for devoting too much focus and time on another in hopes of building your own. You've always had the juice, use it.

Lonely Conquerors - You were birthed alone and will inevitably die alone. Why is it so difficult to get in touch with yourself? Many will assume that loneliness is physically being alone but in actuality it's a mind state.  Yes, we love to spend time with our friends and engage in intimacy with the ones we like, lust and love over but most times to get to the next level you must endure a process, a single one. The more time you spend alone is the more qualities you develop, nourish and almost perfect for your next relationship. After a breakup, it is not uncommon for a notch to be lowered on the confidence scale based on the relationship. Either party can feel inadequate in terms of relationship success. Why not add two or even three notches to the relationship confidence scale? Focusing on you first and not the mental bubble laced with lonely, will give you that extra push. It will only prove beneficial for your next conquest.

True Love Seekers. A host of men and women can pique your interest with their contrived childhood dreams of one day finding their soul mate and being swept away to La La land. Yes, the idea of being in love is normal but when you eat, sleep and breathe it, so much that it defines you, it can lead you down dismal relationship roads. While love is likely to be present on every person's secret wish list, men included, it is to be handled with care not charge. Serial monogamists thrive off of this for it can be the piece that completely perfects their love puzzle. Unknowingly though, you won't find love any faster than the next by hopping around. Yes, you've found a new person but you're still the same.

Who you are when you enter a relationship is always altered upon departure. Is it wise to carry bad habits, weak characteristics and baggage into the next relationship and so quickly? I think not. Relationships are not relay races! Be mindful of who you do unhesitatingly pass the torch to. Take your time.  Relationships are like the game of Double Dutch, either way it's a gamble once you jump in not knowing how long your journey will last. Jumping in too soon can offset your skills and you may get clipped. If you take your time and measure your approach, once you're in you can show ‘em what you've got. As long as the ropes of life are turning, there's always an open opportunity to jump in, no matter the length of wait. Release the hasty gene and adopt the patient one.

The time spent as a single individual will help you if not anyone else and frankly why wouldn't you be concerned about you? Redefine and reinvent, your future is dependent on these two steps. Don't let your serial track record define who you are when YOU can.



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